dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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