Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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