chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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