My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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