He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
