I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
