Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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