I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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