Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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