the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
