You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
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I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
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I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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