I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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