I'm pants shitting drunk right now
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
