i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize