remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
