His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
