in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
