Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
