But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
