we have officially lost it.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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