Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
