So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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