I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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