just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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