we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
