then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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