SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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