just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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