I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
