you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
The best revenge is premature balding
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
