I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
