On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
