YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
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