I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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