She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
