Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
