bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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