He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
