yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
