I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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