Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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