Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
