I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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