i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I am naked and annoyed.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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