So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
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I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
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There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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