Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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