oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
