On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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