Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
