haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
