I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
There was a lot of him and a little penis
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
