My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize