all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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