I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
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