I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
