Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
