all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
