sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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