I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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