do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
