You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I would ride that face into the sunset
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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