you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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